April 24, 2014- 4:13am
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First, Second and Third Child....

Your Clothes

1st baby:
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon
as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby:
You wear your regular clothes for as
long as possible.

3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your
regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby:
You don't bother practicing because you
remember that last time, breathing didn't
do a thing.

3rd baby:
You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, & fold them
neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes
are clean &discard only the ones with
the darkest stains.

3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?


1st baby:
At the first sign of distress-a whimper,
a frown-you pick up the baby.

2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby:
You teach your 3-year-old how to
rewind the mechanical swing.


1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it
away until you can go home and wash
and boil it.

2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you
squirt it off with some juice from the
baby's bottle.

3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every
hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby:
You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours,
if needed.

3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others
start to complain about the smell or you
see it sagging to their knees.


1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with
a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you
remember to leave a number where
you can be reached.

3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to
call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby:
You spend a good bit of every day just
gazing at the baby.

2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to
be sure your older child isn't squeezing,
poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding
from the children.

Swallowing Coins

1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush
the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child:
When 2nd child swallows a coin, you
carefully watch for coin to pass.

3rd child:
When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct
it from his allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...or everyone who KNOWS someone
who has had children...or anyone who has ever been a child themselves!
(I guess that cover almost everyone, huh?)

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