HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy
AnD dRiVe OtHeR PeOpLe iNsAnE...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom.(Don't disguise your voice)

3. When ordering chicken in a restaurant, ask if it is male chicken or female chicken.

4. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'

5. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

6. Insist that your e-mail address be xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com

7. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

8. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

9. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.

10. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

11. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the breakroom. When people complain that there was nothing there,lean
back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."

12. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

13. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

14. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

15. Don't use any punctuation

16. When at a counter paying your bill, ask the cashier if they take Hawaiian money.

17. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

18. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

19. ***AnD tHe FiNaL WaY tO aNnOy PeOple: Send this to everyone you know, even if they have asked you not to send them stuff like this.